I am no stranger to truly terrible, bad for you food. I've eaten my share of things that have shortened my life; in fact I recently enjoyed the new Taco Bell tacos with Doritos shells (you can almost not even tell the difference). But the latest monstrosity from Pizza Hut UK is a transfat too far for your Badass-in-Chief, and the very concept sort of revolts me:
A pizza whose crust is stuffed with hot dogs.
This just seems like the culinary version of the modern fanboy mash up trend, where two disparate things are put together because why the fuck not, they're both SEO gold. Who considers pizza and hot dogs in the same breath*? These don't seem like tastes that go great together. And even if you wanted to meld pizza with hot dogs, wouldn't you put sliced up hot dogs ON the pizza?
But no. Pizza Hut UK has put them in the crust. And then drizzled mustard on the whole thing, which is also frankly revolting.
That this is happening in the UK is a real black eye on the American fast food industry (never mind that Pizza Hut is American). America has been slipping a lot lately, but we had been leading the globe in horrific shit that doesn't taste good AND will kill you painfully and young. Now the old leaders in that department, the British, have the crown back.
* Besides our own Zack Carlson, at whose wedding pizza and hot dogs were served.