We're just about at that moment where the upcoming fourth season of Arrested Development becomes more real than we ever had chance to hope for. The Netflix exclusive series can now boast an episode list and a contested debut date.
Supposedly, May 4th is the big day. According to Bleeding Cool, the Fox Fast publicity website (I looked at this website and was surprised to find an upcoming sitcom called 1600 Penn in which Bull Pullman once again plays the president; I guess some things never change) actually listed all fourteen of the show's season four episodes by name and stated May 4th as the day it would premier on Netflix. Since then, the info has been taken down. Netflix has denied the date but not the episode names. Speaking of which, here they are:
George Sr. 1
George Sr. 2
George Michael 1
George Michael 2
These titles seem to verify the notion that each episode of Arrested Development's fourth season would focus on one character. Michael, George Michael, George Sr., Lindsay, and Gob all get two episodes (with Gob's curiously split in the order), while Tobias, Maeby, Lucille, and Buster only get one. And for some reason I'm not happy about, Barry Zuckerkorn doesn't have any episodes at all. That's bullshit.
Arrested Development's whole return is even more exciting than it normally would be due to Netflix's involvement. In a very real way, we're entering into new models for show rating and distribution that laugh at what previously seemed impossible. As one of those assholes at parties who doesn't own a television, I love this stuff. Case in point: ALL fourteen episodes of Arrested Development's fourth season will apparently go up on the same day. While I'm mad about the Barry Zuckerkorn thing, that's pretty amazing. We're all going to be able to swallow the entire season in one massive "call in sick to work" bite.
It's such an enticing notion, in fact, revolving as it does around the return of a show I truly love, that I half expect witches to creep up behind me and slit my throat while I'm distracted by the show, as though the return of Arrested Development was just a massive house made of candy for adults. So, please enjoy your fourth season of Arrested Development, but don't forget to protect ya neck just in case.