I want to take a page from the Film Crit Hulk book. Instead of my usual thing, where I whip myself up into a froth and sling insults at the guy behind this video, I want to approach it all calmly and in a friendly, helpful manner.
DJ Lubel is a 'comedian' whose song and video, Women of LA, is getting a lot of attention online. It's gone viral, and it's popping up in all my LA social media circles. The premise of the video is that DJ Lubel is a newcomer to LA, having recently moved from New York. When he arrives his friends tell him that LA isn't like New York (you can already see how this will be comic gold, what with that launchpad) - see, women in LA won't have sex with you! LA is crawling with beautiful, thin, sexy women, none of whom will give the time of day to a short, schlubby nobody who is only interested in the physical qualities of females. What a wacky place LA is!
OK, I've already fallen off the Film Crit Hulk nice wagon, but it's hard. This Women of LA video is testing me in a big way. I watched the whole thing, assuming that at the end it was going to come full circle and become self-aware, realize that DJ Lubel is not good looking and seems to be kind of a creep and that he has set his standards to some sort of bizarrely unrealistic place. Maybe we'd see a 'not gorgeous' LA woman hanging around, getting blown off by Lubel, who only has eyes for some bleach blonde with a fake rack. But no! There is no such punchline. There's some slightly self-critcizing humor in the fact that Lubel's guest stars are has-beens Pauly Shore and Jaleel White, but that's not the joke of the video.
The whole premise of the joke is 'Who are these LA women who think they're too good for me?'
Honestly, if this is something you can identify with, I feel bad for you. Not only are you a misogynist, but you're also self-sabotaging. By focusing just on specific ideals of beauty you're cutting yourself off not only from lots of great women in general, but plenty of great sex. You're making yourself unhappy. Of course maybe that's for the best, because you're such a shallow, awful person you'd make any woman you were with fundamentally unhappy as well.
It's no secret that there are many shallow, image-obsessed and star-fucking people - OF BOTH SEXES - in Los Angeles. Thrilling observation, Lubel. Billy Wilder looks down from heaven, wishing he had displayed this comedic insight. I'm not looking to White Knight Los Angeles, but the reality is that like any other place on the face of the Earth, LA has many different types of people. Some of them are actually quite nice and smart and fun and open-minded. And they might even date a guy whose body type could be described mostly as 'globby.'
Here's some TMI for you: when I moved to LA from New York I found myself "involved" with more women than ever before in my life. All of a sudden my batting average went through the roof, and what's more I was hooking up with women so far out of my league it was like I was dreaming. My streak only came to an end when I found myself in a serious relationship. The secret, I learned, is that there are just as many crummy, image-obsessed, shallow men in LA as women, and so the cool and fun and cute girls were happy to stoop to the level of a guy like me. My special power was not being a complete douchebag. You can have that tip for free, DJ Lubel.
Hopefully people see how gross this video is. It's the viral video version of the 'nice guy' phenomenon, where a schmucky dude thinks that just because he's not a frat-douche he's owed pussy, like just because he's nice to a girl she should be at least letting him get to third base. It's the world of guys who think 'friend zone' is a thing, who don't realize that nobody owes you sex.
I suspect that DJ Lubel will find himself getting some kind of a development deal, though. He'll end up with a multi-camera sitcom on CBS that will get canceled after a season; for one bright shining moment he'll be the kind of big shot who can get the attention of the fake blondes with the fake tits, and I hope he enjoys it. Because not long after he's going to lucky to get cast as the best friend in a DTV slasher movie, and then he'll end up volunteering at a comedy club just to get some time on stage. And then he'll go home to Long Island and work at a bank.
Note: the only part of the video that I think is actually funny is the Mr. Belding stuff, and that's because it's totally true. There's this one bar in the Valley that is notorious as the place where Mr. Belding hangs out and gets crazy attention.