PIRATES 5: Neptune’s Trident To Be The MacGuffin Fueling Endless Double-Crosses

The fifth PIRATES gets a plot synopsis, nobody cares.

For a series where nothing seems to actually matter, the Pirates of the Caribbean movies are really plot-heavy. There's just a ton of reversals and double-crosses and changes of allegiance and back and forth ownership of items relevant to the plot and lots of people trying to accomplish... something, usally amidst huge CGI action scenes. I couldn't tell you what any of the movies are actually about, even the ones I liked, and I bet you're largely the same. You remember the characters and the designs and some of the fun sequences. The unbelievably unwieldy plots don't make it out of the theater with you. 

Maybe that's a recipe for success, which I guess means it's good news that PIrates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales contains yet another MacGuffin chase, as per the official synopsis: 

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Captain Jack Sparrow finds the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost pirates led by his old nemesis, the terrifying Captain Salazar (Bardem), escape from the Devil's Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea...including him.  Captain Jack's only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas.

I can already see the CGI shitstorm at the end of this one. 

The film has begun production, but will not be released for TWO YEARS, so either this is gonna be a lengthy shoot or they might consider playing with that opening date. Or maybe they just keep it there; Disney is already squatting on almost every single great release date the next few years. 

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