Wonders Never Cease: 2017’s Greatest Movie Will Be Called THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS

Fate, motherfucker.

The big news is not that we’re going to get a new Fast and Furious trailer Sunday. We’ll deal with that when we get there.

The big news is that this golden gem of a movie now has an official title. And it’s not the one we predicted. While we were all putting on our reading glasses and tweed jackets thinking the new film would OF COURSE be called Fast 8, the series itself said “Fuck you. When it comes to being stupid, we’ve always been smarter than you, and that’s not changing anytime soon.”

And it was right. Because now we know the film’s real title:

That’s fucking right. The Fate of the Furious. Rather than futz around with the franchise’s established crazy naming system, this one decided Crazy Tree deserved a whole new branch. God love ‘em. We seriously don’t deserve it.

In any case, let that little tease float you to Sunday, at which time we will bask in around two minutes of beautiful The Fate of the Furious action. Buckle up.

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