CARS 3 Teaser Introduces You To A Couple Of New Lemons

What the eff is this movie?

Cars 3 just put out a new teaser that once again makes us wonder if Disney forgot how to make teasers:

I give them credit for not making this one all about the blood and guts, but three separate vignettes introducing cars in pornographic detail is still a very odd way to go. I like odd things, but I’m still waiting to see what kind of odd we’re working with here.

Because things do appear to be different with this one. This lacks the operatic drama of Teaser #1, but trades it in for a hot, Nu Cars feel. Do the people who like Cars want their Cars fucked with? Only time will tell.

We do have a slight plot synopsis courtesy of Entertainment Weekly. Cars 3 will apparently be all about Lightning Jack or whoever dealing with getting older while a young buck threatens his supremacy on the race track and, one assumes, the bedroom. It’s also supposed to be a kind of Millennial vs. Gen X thing. Since this is a hardcore Millennial franchise, I’m not sure how that’s gonna turn out. Perhaps Owen Wilson dies in the end after all.

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