In what can only be read as a direct act of aggression upon an unsuspecting populace, Paramount has announced that it will now release Michael Bay's Transformers: The Last Knight a full two days earlier than expected. This gives us that much less time to prepare, people.
Here's the news, via Variety:
Paramount has moved the release of Transformers: The Last Knight forward by two days to June 21, which is a Wednesday. It remains the studio’s top prospect for 2017.
Okay. This is fine. Right now, it's very important not to panic. There's still ample time to prepare for the arrival of Transformers: The Last Knight. If you've already started digging your bomb shelters (which we advised you to do all the way back in January, so no excuses) and you've already wallpapered your neighborhood with warning leaflets (this was covered in our April newsletter), you're already well on your way to being nice and safe when Transformers: The Last Knight arrives. Remain calm.
Transformers: The Last Knight hits theaters on June 21st. There will be no surivors.