DO THEY KNOW IT’S MURDER Will Present The Untold Story of Bob Geldof, Detective

Someone in the legendary 1984 recording session has been murdered, and only one man can find the killer. You heard us.

Fantastic Fest favorite Coherence was a smart, economical science fiction film that knocked our socks off when it screened, and marked director James Ward Byrkit as someone to watch.

Welp: yesterday his new project was announced, and we had to pinch ourselves to make sure we weren’t dreaming. Not because it sounds amazing – though to be clear, it sounds A-MA-ZING – but because it sounds like the kind of not-quite-real project you’d hear about in an anxiety dream where you’re writing up movie news and someone tells you the premise for a movie and it’s so fucking goofy that you’re like “oh, word, this is a dream I’m having right now.”

The Tracking Board sayeth:

The film is set during the recording of the 1984 song “Do They Know It’s Christmas” as songwriter Bob Geldof discovers a dead body and must find out who killed the star without derailing the song.

Guys. They are making a movie called Do They Know It’s Murder in which Bob Geldof will be reimagined as a Hercule Poirot-esque sleuth investigating a death during the recording of his charity single. This is not a drill. 

We need to be prepared for the eventuality of a scene in which Bob Geldof looks around SARM West Studios in Notting Hill and says “someone in this room…is a murderer”, followed by shifty-eyed close-ups of Sting, Boy George, and Bananarama.

We need to make peace with the fact that this film will most likely have an entire ensemble of actors made-up to look like ‘80s Brit pop stars. Oh, and one of those recognizable '80s musicians is getting murdered?

Folks, I give you my most anticipated film of the decade.

For the kids: Band-Aid was a project conceived by Boomtown Rats lead singer Bob Geldof, and the all-star recording of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (co-written by Geldof and Midge Ure) was designed to raise money for and spread awareness of famine in Ethiopa. The single raised millions of dollars, and spawned both an American recording with similar goals ("We Are The World") and Live Aid, a massive charity concert held simultaneously in London and Philadelphia in 1985. To the best of our knowledge, no one was murdered during the recording session.

Real-life gets co-opted into the realm of fictionalized cinema all the time. Often there’s a distancing to it – 1994’s Ed Wood recounted the infamous director’s 1950s period of productivity; 1997’s Velvet Goldmine reimagined (and fictionalized) the glam of the 1970s. There’s usually a multi-decade cushion to soften the weird disconnect, but if you’re old enough to remember the real events – and as we move into a period of time where everything was recorded - the effect is surreal to say the least. Eli Roth shooting Hitler in the face is one thing; watching Bob Geldof solve a drawing room murder mystery while recording “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” is going to be a whole other shade of weird. We will see it opening day.

If I may make one suggestion?