This post contains spoilers for Riverdale.
Check out our previous review here.
This week’s Riverdale is all about dashing heroics with a little bit of eating crow sprinkled on top. Even resident softboy Archie Andrews manages to be helpful a time or two! Unfortunately, being helpful is relative, and Archiekins is playing for the wrong team. Lately the show has moved from murder mystery to straight up mobster fare, and in the middle of that strange little hurricane sits the Lodge family.
Things have been strained between the families since the murder of Poppa Poutine, but Hermione running for office is what manages to push everyone over the edge. Because they’re all business men, the families tell Hiram that they’ll remain amicable so long as he gives them a large percent of the profits from his new prison. Things get strained when he declines, but Archie’s there to lighten the mood by threatening the mobsters (yes, they found it as cute as we did). All of this culminates in Archie rallying Reggie and the Bulldogs to blow up the other mobster’s car to send a message. How long do you think Archie would last in prison?
Reggie and Archie’s relationship is a little bit strained at the moment, and it's only partially because Ronnie punched him in the face. At the opening debate, we find out that Reggie is still running for student president with Josie by his side. Reg promised Josie the Bulldog vote, but Archie wins it in an arm wrestling match (because of course he does). So, how is it that the two boys end up on the same side by the end of the episode? The answer to that would be the Bulldog vote being transferred to Reggie. The two boys have sorted out a large portion of their vote, but the same can’t be said for Betty and Jughead.
Though the two are clearly the most qualified to hold any sort of office, Betty and Jug’s shoo-in vote doesn’t seem so keen on their platform. The baby Serpents don’t like that they’re focusing on diplomacy after Jughead got them all riled up and protesting last week, nor are they too keen on Betty. Though she’s maintained loyalty to the Serpents and her boyfriend, Alice’s betrayal of the gang runs deep. Surprisingly, that’s where the eating crow portion of “The Noose Tightens” comes in.
Turns out, dumping a car in a swamp is not a sufficient means of removing murder evidence! The authorities find the car, and everyone who helped cover up Chic’s little braining incident finds themselves in panic mode. The victim’s ex comes back into play, and brings the dude who tried to cut Chic with a box cutter with her after trying to extort money from the Coopers in exchange for their silence. Predictably, they don’t leave after taking the money. Thankfully, while Alice has no idea how to protect her family, Betty does. Before things can get too ugly, Jughead and the other baby Serpents swoop to the Coopers’ rescue by literally kicking a door in and pulling their switch blades. It’s all very gallant.
That gallantry leads to two unexpected things from Alice: she apologizes to and thanks the Serpents for their help, and she finally tells Chic to leave. There’s no way this will be the last we see of him in the Cooper household, but it does clear the way for Betty and Jughead for their campaign. It also results in Alice in FP’s trailer, so everyone wins!
The baby Serpent’s rescue was great, but Toni and Veronica rescuing Cheryl from the Sisters of Quiet Mercy’s torture chamber is perfect. Penelope manages to scare of Josie, but Ronnie and Toni aren’t so easily swayed. After Nana Rose risks her safety to let Toni in on the secret, the girls stage their rescue via an old prohibition tunnel, and shippers finally get the kiss they’ve been waiting for. Penelope is going to have a grand old time when she finds out, and won’t that be an utter delight to watch?
There’s some questions as to where Cheryl will live now that she’s out of her mother’s clutches, and what will happen to the still trapped Nana Rose, but Riverdale’s bombshell has a show to put on! We’ll surely get answers to the Cheryl issues and more when Riverdale returns mid-April with their rendition of Carrie: The Musical. In the meantime, you know what to do if you had thoughts on this week’s episode!