Hollywood: Cast This Parkour Wonderdog In The Inevitable CUJO Remake
Meet TreT, the parkour wonderdog from Ukraine. His owner originally acquired him in exchange for two pairs of American blue jeans, easily the best bargain of his life. See, TreT is a maniac when it comes to running and jumping and generally showing off for the camera. His owner has captured many of TreT’s best parkour-esque stunts and set them to the kind of pounding two-note techno you can only get with a Casio, and now here it is for you to enjoy.
TreT seems to have a bright future in the movies. We know that The Bourne Legacy, the new Bourne movie, will not feature Matt Damon, so why not include a dog? Now, I’m not saying TreT should be the new Bourne (although that is a strong idea), but maybe he could be the best friend and companion to the new Bourne. When the new Bourne takes TreT for a walk it’s actually from rooftop to rooftop, jumping off crumbling parapets and landing on tiny ledges.
Or maybe TreT could star in a remake of Cujo. Sure, he’s technically the wrong kind of dog, but imagine how much scarier Cujo would be if, instead of waiting outside your car, he was climbing in your 12th story window? Man, I should be a Hollywood executive. Let me tell you about my idea for a Citizen Kane remake… but with social networking sites.