Spider-Man Musical Looks To Be Most Exciting Disaster In Years!

Fashion photos from SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK reveal a disaster of almost Biblical proportions. And that’s pretty damned exciting.

Vanity Fair has a bunch of Annie Liebovitz shots of costumes from the show (which was supposed to open soon (or by now) but has been postponed - and I’m betting gets just canceled), and they’re each horrible. Like, beyond understanding bad. How does someone design costumes this crummy? You were complaining about the Green Goblin in Spider-Man the movie? Check out this motherfucker above!

This seems like an act of terrorism visited upon the legacy of Spider-Man. I do hope the show opens because I simply must see it; I’ll fly out to New York to watch a mess of this proportion. I mean, check this out;

Holy goon! And then there’s this holocaust of good taste:

That’s “Swiss Miss,” a new character invented for this abortion. And then there’s this:

When Carnage, the worst character in the Spider-Man canon, is the best looking character in the stage show, you know that something is really, truly, terribly wrong.

Spider-Man is my favorite superhero, but I know that he can live through something as poorly cobbled together as this. Hell, he’s been going through worse in the pages of his own comics the last few years.