Baby Jesus Gets Lojacked

Stolen Baby Jesii have become a major problem. The solution: GPS trackers.

There is a tendency for people to steal the Baby Jesus from public nativities. It used to happen all the time with the gaudy plastic light up nativity my grandmother kept in the front yard, and you always hear about some church or other having to take up a collection to buy a new Jesus. The Baby Jesus is just really popular with poachers, just like garden gnomes.

But now Brickhouse Security is working with churches to safeguard the Baby Jesus - by putting a GPS chip in him. And they’re calling the program GPS Jesus.

You ever feel like the world has slid directly into satire?

“There’s been no attempt of theft since we announced that we’re tracking our Jesus,” said Alan Czyewski of St. Ambrose Church in Old Bridge, which gained unwanted recognition when its displays were repeatedly victimized by vandals.
“We love this. People are now well aware of our GPS Jesus, so they leave it alone,”