New Japanese Video Game Urinals Let You Play As You Piss

Japan! Home of all that is odd, bizarre and cutting edge. And perverted. But this next story is barely perverted, and is mostly just odd, bizarre and cutting edge: Sega has introduced games that you play while using public urinals.

They’re called ‘Toylets,’ and they have a number of different games, most of which require you to pee really hard (I always suspected my masculinity was tied into the force of my urine. I always try to pee louder in public restrooms) on a pressure sensitive plate. There are four minigames (which you choose from an LCD screen mounted above the urinal. The LCD will also, of course, show ads). According to Wired they are:

There’s “Mannekin Pis,” which simply measures how hard you can pee, and “Graffiti Eraser,” which lets you remove paint by pointing a hose in different directions.

There’s the faintly misogynistic “The Northern Wind, The Sun and Me,” where you play as the wind trying to blow a girl’s skirt up, and the harder you pee, the harder the wind blows.

Finally, the bizarre “Battle! Milk From Nose” is a multiplayer game where you compete against the person who last used the urinal. The strength of your urine streams are compared, and translated into milk spraying out of your nose. If your stream is stronger, your milk-stream knocks your opponent out of the ring.

If all of this wasn’t weird enough, you can save your piss results on a USB stick.

The Toylets are set up in four Tokyo subway locations, and they’ll be tested until the end of the month. As weird as this is, I can see it being a big hit at bars; when they have ice in the urinal I pretend my dick is the starship Enterprise and I’m blasting an ice planet with my phasers. More than once another bar patron has walked into the bathroom to find me yelling ‘Hit em with everything we’ve got, Mr. Sulu!’