Badass Bakery: YOUR HIGHNESS Royal Brownies

Looking for the perfect snack to enjoy before seeing YOUR HIGHNESS this weekend? This special brownie recipe will be just what the Wize Wizard ordered.

So you’re going to see Your Highness tonight and you want to be… prepared. You want to enjoy a snack. You live in a state with medical marijuana (because we would never condone someone illegally purchasing narcotics, especially one as dangerous as marijuana). You like to bake. You’re in luck! Here’s a recipe for Your Highness Royal Brownies.

The most important part of the recipe is how to get your perfectly legal medical marijuana into the brownie. I’ve used a standard chocolate chip brownie recipe that has worked nicely for me in general before, stolen from Cooks.


1 oz. marijuana
1 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 c. butter, softened
3/4 c. sugar
2 tbsp. water
1 (12 oz.) pkg. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
2 lg. eggs
1/2 c. chopped nuts

The first thing you have to do is impregnate your butter with pot. You do that by sauteeing the pot in the butter (I put 1 oz here - use to taste. Beware that pot brownies can be extremely effective). Once everything is sautee’ed nice and good, strain the butter through a cheese cloth to get the nasty stems and everything out. You’ve basically extracted the THC into the butter. Let the butter cool.

Now we just go into the regular brownie recipe, using your THC-infused butter! Voila!

- Preheat oven to 325 degrees (you should do this while sauteeing your weed).

- Sift together flour, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

- Combine butter, sugar and water over a low flame. Bring to a boil and remove from heat. Add vanilla extract and half the chocolate chips (1 cup). Stir until chips are melted. Transfer mixture to a large bowl.

- Add eggs one at a time. Gradually blend in dry ingredients. Stir in remaining chocolate chips and chopped nuts. Spread evenly into greased 9 inch square pan. Bake 30-36 minutes. Cool completely before cutting into 2 inch squares. Yield: 20 brownies. Delicious!

Again, be aware that while the Your Highness Royal Brownies will be tasty and awesome, they will also be potent. Don’t get carried away. One time I ate way too many pot brownies on a work trip to a cabin in the woods and spent a whole night on the porch shivering and thinking I saw Lucifer in the clouds.

For those of you who live in states without medical marijuana or who don’t have prescriptions, these brownies will be delicious when served straight! You fucking squares.