And on the seventh day God decided there should be a cottage industry of shitty, lazy novelty books. And so was born crap like Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Slayer, How To Survive A Robot Uprising and How To Survive A Garden Gnome Attack. And surprise, all of these pieces of dung are being made into movies!
How To Survive A Garden Gnome Attack might be the dumbest idea of all these, and it’s the latest optioned. The book is a ‘humorous’ guide to resisting an assault by the ubiquitous garden decorations, who were some kind of internet meme about four years ago.
Robert Zemeckis will be directing a live action/CG hybrid movie adaptation that is apparently ‘adult oriented.’ Some people are running with that to say it’ll be rated R, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just a modestly violent PG-13. Anyway, the film is being brought it remarkably cheap - 20 to 30 million bucks - which should be lauded all on its own.
A terrible book concept like this could make an actually enjoyable movie - think Gremlins, with garden gnomes - and I’m always happy to see films brought in on reasonable budgets. Could this stall the career fall that Zemeckis has been in? Could directing humans again save him? I’d like to think so.