Japan Skymall is Stranger Than Ours

Giant hamburger stools. Portable bidets. Cone of silence karaoke systems. USB lice checker. Tim discovers that the Japanese Skymall is filled with magic.

A portable battery powered bidet.  I put in a Japanese toilet at my house about 3 years ago.  It remains to this day my favorite feature of our home and when I am away, I truly miss its thorough cleaning powers.  I am seriously thinking of investing in this TOTO travel model.  It comes in blue for boys and pink for the ladies.


Crazy tool to clean earwax out of your ears.  Ingenious, but it looks a tad bit on the dangerous side.


I’m not 100% sure, but I believe this USB device is a microscope camera that can check your own scalp for lice.


Now I really have no clue, but this device shoots some sort of radiation or waveforms into your retina and it appears to please users of all ages.


I really wish I spoke Japanese, because I might be totally missing the boat, but I think both of these devices are worn during sleep and are used to gradually make your nose pointier and your eyes… bigger?  eyelids less wrinkled?  I don’t know, but neither one looks terribly effective or comfortable.


Hopefully someone who speaks Japanese can figure this out and correct me in the comments.  My best guess on this one is that you insert the mouthpiece in your mouth and insert the tuning fork into the external protrusion of the mouthpiece.  Maybe the tuning for vibrates when you hit the correct note and it teaches you proper tongue position for singing.  I really don’t know, but it is an alarming product to see in the “hobbies” section of an in-flight magazine.


Also in the “hobbies” section is this device that looks like something between a hot water bottle and a traditional clay sake urn.  It appears that you scream into the device which in turn transmorphs your shouts into noxious odors.


Alright, back to something that everyone can understand.  Novelty, conversation-starter stools.  I do still want to know what salient point is being made about the bite taken out of the corn stool.  The burger, by the way, is no exaggeration.  Japan rules the giant burger scene.  Here’s one such monster burger I devoured on the trip.


Last but not least, a private karaoke system, with a cone of silence around the microphone and headphones.  Now you can sing to your heart’s content without all the embarrassment of having a single other human soul hear your voice.

I’ll be posting more upbeat, non-tsunami related Japan stories in the weeks to come.

In the meantime, I found out that you can in fact order the portable bidet here in the states from Amazon, see below.  I just ordered mine.