Roland Emmerich Reported To Be Directing ASTEROIDS. Yes, The Video Game.
I have to admit that I don’t understand the way Hollywood’s brain works when it comes to brand stuff. We live in an age when non-narrative properties are being adapted because there’s a belief that the brand involved - whether it be Battleship or Candy Land - has enough pull on audiences. There are at least two cereal mascot movies that have been in quiet development in recent years, for instance. Why?
It makes as much sense as adapting the video game Asteroids, a completely non-narrative experience that’s pretty low-tech. What’s funny is that the idea for the movie isn’t terrible, it’s just that the need to tie it into the property is laughable. According to Vulture here’s the pitch:
We’re told it’s an ersatz sequel to world-ending Emmerich films like Independence Day and 2012, but one in which the aliens have won. The remnants of human civilization are now living on far-flung colonies within an asteroid belt alongside aliens. The survivors were led to believe that this alien civilization was benevolent, rescuing them from doom, but ultimately discover that the aliens have engineered Earth’s destruction, and soon will do the same for the rest of humankind.
A post-apocalyptic space action film? I’m on board!
Of course lest you think that this might be a smart, Battlestar Galactica-esque look at humans struggling for survival in space, Roland Emmerich is attached to direct. That’s too bad because this is a concept that doesn’t have to be dumb, but will be because the studio - in this case Universal - wills it to be so.
