The Story Of SNOW WHITE Finally Gets The Epic Trilogy Treatment It Always Deserved

It’ll take six full hours to tell the tale of the girl who hung out with a bunch of dwarfs.

This is old news, but I missed it last week and I’d really like to weigh in. See, I think my opinion on this matter is vital to you. The matter, of course, is the news that Snow White and the Huntsman, one of TWO competing Snow White live action films, is being planned as the first movie in a trilogy.

An epic fantasy Snow White trilogy. That’s according to producer Joe Roth, talking to Entertainment Weekly.

“It’s meant to be the first in a series of films,” he said. “This story will end, but there will be questions remaining for these three characters.”

I don’t know who those three characters are. There’s Snow White. And there’s The Huntsman. Who’s number three? EW’s poor reporting doesn’t make it clear - could it be the Evil Queen? She dies at the end of the fairy tale - danced to death in heated iron shoes!! - but maybe she makes it through this film?

Anyway, Roth, who also produced Tim Burton’s nigh-upon unwatchable Alice in Wonderland is planning on taking the same tack, trying to make Snow White into some sort of epic Lord of the Rings-esque tale. Hey, maybe this is going to be good. But Jesus, does every concept have to be forced into an assembly line mold?

My biggest question, though, from a fairy tale point of view, is whether they’ll bring in Rose Red, a character from the Grimm fairy tale Snow White and Rose Red. The Snow White in that story is NOT the same from Snow White and the Huntsman, but it isn’t like this film is letting fidelity  to the source material get in the way. And it might be a chance to bring in an appealing actress, since the walking dead Kristen Stewart is playing Snow White (Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth, is the Huntsman. Charlize Theron is the Evil Queen).