What’s the good stuff you ask? Why Eric Northman, of course! He got himself all possessed by Marnie the Witch! And now he’s all innocent and puppy-dog-eyed and thinks Sookie smells good. Super awesome! Not to mention that (pre-possession) he’s playing sugar daddy to Sook already. And now he’s all sweet and helpless? Well goddamn, girl. Look who’s lucking out! There are worst people to find stumbling shirtless down your driveway. Just sayin’.
On the opposite side of the luck spectrum, Jason Stackhouse done got himself fuuuucked. After being knocked out by the meth-children of the damned, his cracked out ladyfriend and her equally-if-not-more-so cracked out lover-cousin have taken to biting the shit out of him to turn him into a (really shitty CGI) were-panther so Crystal can have a (really shitty CGI) were-panther-baby. I’m sure the child will be perfectly healthy and happy! Best wishes to
both the three of them!
So let’s talk about Bill. Oh hey, Bill. You’re looking awfully rich these days. Maybe it’s cause you were a total dickweed to Evan Rachel Wood! I’m not a huge fan of the actress herself (except in The Wrestler – although there was nothing bad about that movie), but I liked Queen Sophie-Anne. I’m kind of bummed that they took her out of the game. They could have done a lot more with that character.
And now for a new feature that I will call: This episode’s most ridiculous moment! That award goes to 1980s punk Bill! Really, True Blood? That’s what he was doing in the 80s? Pretending to be a Brit punk? That look soooo does not work for him. He could do new wave, maybe… maybe. This could be because I just kind of hate his stupid face these days, but I’m gonna say it was this episode’s most ridiculous moment. Also, was I the only one kind of wishing to see Buffy’s Spike wondering around in the background? Man, I really wish these shows would get more meta…
So the story is that Bill’s been working for Nan Flanagan for twenty-something years now, was sent to spy on the Queen, do her bidding and report back in exchange for the reign of Louisiana. He’s also still in the “Psh, I didn’t really have feelings for Sookie!” mode that he keeps touting, but you can’t fool us Bill Compton! But, that definitely sets up the American Vampire League being after our favorite fairy princess later in the game.
Unrelated (sort of): if there’s anyone out there that would like to start an “Old Lesbians That Look Like Bill Compton” Tumblr, I have a friend that would really appreciate that.
Back to the episode, the weirdo horse club hasn’t grown on me yet, but I kind of like Sam’s new love interest despite her name (Luna – that name is reserved for hippies and adorable HARRY POTTER characters exclusively). She wins over the audience by immediately showing boobage, and she’s got a pretty cool back-story. I still hate Tommy though, and his awkward “I still wanna be your brother even though you shot me like an asshole” just makes him seem like a whiney baby.
Tara was there, and less annoying than usual. I don’t think her lip quivered once! EDIT: I rewatched the witch scene. The lip doth quiver when Eric grabs her by the neck.
This episode’s best exchange once again involved Pam.
Sookie: “Thanks for the advice, but I will never be Eric Northman’s puppet.”
Pam: “Shame for you, then. He pulls good string.”
So after this week, I’m excited for this season. I’m digging the witch coven and Lafayette’s newfound power. As mentioned before, wide-eyed Eric is super promising. I still expect absolutely ridiculous twists and turn. I’m still not sold on this potential Hoyt/Jessica break-up, or Arlene being scared of her fake Cajun baby, but we’ll see.
Oh! And Marnie’s face getting all freaky when she was chanting! What was that about?! I went frame-by-frame on that shit (nerd) and her face changed into no one that we know, so that should be fun later! I have my suspicions, but I’ll keep ‘em to myself. All I’ll say is that I like where it’s going…
TRUE BLOOD, OUT!