I’d like to start this with HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THE TRUE BLOOD VID RELEASED AT COMIC CON?! Shit was HOT! Super spoilery, but really fun. Also, I kind of want every season of True Blood to have a really shitty premiere episode, because I went from “Ruh roh!” to “BEST SEASON EVER!” in record time. I mean, yes, it’s obviously totally ridiculous (and that’s why we watch it, and why I review it), but absolutely 100% satisfying. I’ll put the trailer at the bottom of the post, but if you want to keep blinders on I don’t blame you. I mean, it’s pretty damn spoilery. To me, it just tells me I’m going to enjoy this season wholeheartedly!
But let’s talk about Sunday.
Oh Tommy, Tommy, Tommy… I gotta hand it to you. You’re definitely trying pretty hard to make me care about you, and that’s admirable. I’ll admit, it’s working a little bit. You killed two super annoying characters! Congratulations! That puts you ahead of the game in my book! Sure, in your fictional world, they were your parents, and that really blows, dude. You killed your parents! Dick move, son! Even bigger dick move? Pulling up to your only brother’s house with two dead bodies in your van. Whattadick!
Now, I really value my friendships and relationships quite a bit. I like to consider myself a pretty great friend. That said, please do not ever pull up to my house with two fucking dead bodies in your vehicle! I will share the emotional burden of your break ups, your job losses or your meltdowns, but that is WAY over the line. If I didn’t assist with the deadening of the bodies, I want nothing to do with that sketchy business!
Perhaps Sam should have said something similar to his friends and relatives. Clearly he did not. I do admire the calm demeanor in which he handled the situation. Instead of replying to Tommy’s “I fucked up, Sam” with “OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!” he simply replied, “I see that, Tommy.” Smooth operator. Except with the ladies. Which we established last week.
So Tommy nixed his folks, Sam told him all about how he killed those two people that one time (because that won’t bite him on the ass) and now they’re BBF (best bros forever) again! I give it…. one episode before Sam tries to shoot him again. Sorry, Tommy! You’re just super unloveable! … but shifting into a gator was pretty cool.
Terry Bellefleur is really saving this Demon Baby storyline for me. Todd Lowe is such a fantastic face actor! He has the best expressions, and the sweetest delivery. If putting up with a faux-Cajun possessed infant means that Terry Bellefleur is going to be taking the stage more often, I’ll take it. Also, the house “exorcism” scene was pretty hilarious.
Speaking of great actors in this show, Fiona Shaw is killing it! Her ability to transition between flustered and flailing to seriously powerful is pretty spectacular. Sure, a lot of that effect is the soundtrack and the lighting, but you still need a strong actress to make it believable. Character wise, I was impressed with the scene in the magic shop. I always kinda took Marnie as someone who wanted so badly to have power, but she just didn’t. When she’s giving Sookie a reading, it’s clear that she has a little power of her own, or at least a “gift.” But bad news for Sookie. Her poor little face when Marnie was repeating Gran’s words that the thing with Eric is only temporary! Aww. Sorry, Sook. But go out and enjoy it while it lasts!
Dear Lafayette – I’m so glad they didn’t kill you in season two like the books intended. You are THE GREATEST! So great in fact, that I would like to recommend a spin off series starring Lafayette and Pam, with Eric dropping in (shirtless) on occasion. I would watch the shit out of that show. His entire dialogue in the graveyard with Marnie was delicious.
“Hooker, you pissed off another vampire, and then you took a goddamn nap.”
“That’s some catchy shit for your headstone. Good night!”
What a witty bitch! I love him! I’m really excited to see where Jesus’s grandfather takes them in the story, especially cause the grandfather is so goddamn terrifying! When Lafayette and Jesus did V last season, and Lafayette saw Jesus as a demon for one really loud, really traumatizing second – shit – no matter how many times I’ve seen that part (like three or four) it still scares the bejeezus out of me. I’m expecting a lot more of that, and I’m totally scared! (Disclaimer: I am a HUGE PUSSY when it comes to scary movies and jump scares.) But seriously, the guy made a kid stab a goat! And came outta nowhere and pushed them from behind! What an asshole! Stoked!
TARA GO HOME. Seriously. Sookie was trying to kick you out for a reason, and that reason was not Eric staying there. She was like “Girl, you’re super boring. Your relationship troubles are miniscule compared to the shit going on here.” So go! Get out of here!
Godric? What are you doing here! Why are you being so mean? Eric just wants to love Sookie and take care of her. Leave him alone! Seriously, Eric is just the sweetest right now. Everytime he finds out what a son of a bitch he was, he’s so hurt! God it’s the cutest. And then he was the little spoon! AND THEN THEY MADE OUT! Thank god! Seriously. Four seasons and they’ve only made out twice? I have a feeling they’re about to make up for lost time…
But not before Bill totally ruins the mood! Also, Pam! What the hell! Way to blow it! Her “I’m sorry, Eric” was such a bummer. Also, please, True Blood, I beg you – FIX HER FACE! It’s super gross, and she’s so hot! Let her be hot again! Or at least let her stop peeling skin and ears off. Vom, dude. I really loved getting this witch vs vamp backstory though. Vampire priests!
A few wrap ups: “I am Marcus Boseman! Packmaster of Shreveport” has really terrible hair! Also, Alcide is like three times bigger than that guy. I’m sure he’s got a lotta crazy cooped up in those greasy black locks, though.
Jason’s sex dream TOTALLY wins Most Ridiculous Moment! Oh my god, that flash of Hoyt is so, so fucking funny. “HOYT!” Unfortunately Jason seems to be back to his kinda douche bro ‘tude, but hopefully the full moon will bring us something cool. And hopefully the CGI will get a little better.
Okay, Comic Con vid below. Proceed with caution. And until next time, remember: Gators love marshmallows.
(I’m dumb and can’t get this video to embed so HERE IT IS!)