As the global economy teeters on the edge of disaster I think we must take a moment to register our anger at a real, serious issue facing the world today:
They’re rebooting Short Circuit.
I’ll be setting myself on fire in front of Dimension’s offices, as this is the only way to let the studio know what an egregious mistake they’re making. Don’t they know that Short Circuit, a moderately amusing film from the 80s most notable for a bizarre brownface performance by (Oscar winner!!!!!) Fisher Stevens, is a touchstone for people who grew up in that culturally vapid decade?
Yeah, I was 13 when Short Circuit came out but even at that age I could barely muster a shit to give about the exploits of Johnny Five. To me the film is just another entry in the sad decline of John Badham (although he would rebound from this one with the diverting Stakeout), so even the fact that the guy who directed Hop and Alvin and the Chipmunks is helming the new version doesn’t bug me. I actually hope they counterintuitively make Johnny Five animated this time.
I don’t know why this is a reboot, except that maybe everybody thinks reboot is a word that will go over better than remake.