THE DARK KNIGHT RISES Takes Place In The Future Or Something

Last night I ran the two The Dark Knight Rises Empire covers, saying that the set visit article within would surely shed some light on what the movie is really about. 

Wrong!

The biggest revelation, as far as I can tell, is that the film takes place 8 years after The Dark Knight, setting it at some point in the vague future. There is probably some kind of a story reason for this huge time gap, but I bet Warner Bros has a big hard-on about it, with the words 'Tie in comic' and 'Tie in video game' and 'Tie in cartoon' and 'Missing Years Prequel If We Throw Enough Money At Christian Bale' written all over it (they have a very big dick over there. That Harry Potter money pays for serious enhancement). The missing eight years allows the company to 'Nolanize' all sorts of Batman characters. 

I just hope that at some point in the missing eight years Batman has installed a giant penny and a dinosaur in the Batcave. 

Head to Coming Soon, where they have all the details, including the exciting revelation that Bane needs gas to live. Sounds like he's from the Italian side of my family.