Finally, The Ultimate Way To Sex-Proof Your Bed

Begone wicked vagina! Trouble this bedroom no more!

Ironically this bed set is called the "Never Sleep Alone." Somehow I suspect that anyone who puts this on their mattress is doing nothing BUT sleeping alone. And that cuts both ways - if I went home with a cute girl who had this on her bed I would... well, I probably would continue doing the dastardly things I intended*, but I would think very bad thoughts about her decorating sense. 

If for some reason you have 107 dollars burning a hole in your bank account, you can order this set on Etsy right here.

* this is a hypothetical, as my girlfriend frowns on me going home with other cute girls.