It’s Open Season On Bigfoot In Texas

Imagine if we unknowingly shared the world with an enormous, bipedal mammal. One that was covered in fur and whose genetics are probably quite close to ours. If this creature were real, there's only one question we would need to answer:

Is it legal to hunt Bigfoot?

In Texas the official answer is yes. NPR turned to L. David Sinclair with the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, who gave this no-nonsense answer.

“If Bigfoot did exist, and wasn’t human, then it would [be legal]. Bigfoot would be a non-protected wild animal.”

Apparently NPR wasn't the first to pop this strange question; an Oregon man had already written to the Wildlife Department asking the same thing. It's unclear why he would have been asking. Texas is pretty strict when it comes to non-native species, and right now it is legal to hunt the living shit out of feral hogs, who have become a serious nuisance in recent years. Bigfoot would be, i guess, considered non-native.

Or would he! There are actually quite a few sasquatch sightings in the Republic of Texas, mostly in the Eastern part of the state, which is heavily wooded. In fact the Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy's latest Bigfoot sighting took place on April 3 of this year, in southeastern Liberty County. You can read the report here. If you've ever seen the docudrama masterpiece Legend Of Boggy Creek you'll know the true stories upon which it is based all happened in a part of Arkansas just spitting distance from the Texas border - and you have to assume Bigfoot does not respect interstate boundaries. 

Bigfoot is apparently hot again. I couldn't be happier. I love cryptozoology and would love to find out that a previously unknown enormous hominid stalks the land, despite all the highways and strip malls. As long as there's a patch of woodland I'll hold out hope for sasquatch.