HULK VS THE WHOLE VULTURE THINGY

New York Magazine's pop culture blog Vulture decided to run an article in Hulk-speak. But not in OUR Hulk's Hulk-speak. Film Crit Hulk responds.

By May. 14, 2012

"SO WHETHER IT’S BIXBY OR BANA, NORTON OR RUFFALO, FEMINIST OR DRUNK, THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY TO EXPLORE THE HULK CHARACTER AND METAPHOR IN A LARGER SENSE. FIND A DUALITY. FIND A CONTRADICTION. AND EXPLORE TO YOUR HEART’S CONTENT. HULKS MIGHT BE BIG, BUT THERE MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM FOR ALL OF US."

IT FITTING THAT SO SOON AFTER WRITING THESE WORDS THE THEORY CAN REALLY, REALLY BE TESTED.

HULK FEELS WEIRD EVEN WRITING ON ABOUT THIS, BUT HULK WANTS TO BE IN CONTROL OF EXACTLY HOW HULK FEELS ABOUT IT AND THAT MEANS SPEAKING UP. YOU SEE, THIS MORNING VULTURE POSTED A LITTLE ARTICLE AS WRITTEN BY THE HULK, IN HULK VOICE (SANS THE CRUCIAL CAPS OF COURSE) ABOUT NBC'S SMASH.

SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THAT CHOICE, THERE'S CERTAINLY A CURIOUS OVERLAP OF TONE AND STYLE... BUT REALLY THE BOTHERSOME PART WAS THAT IMMEDIATELY PEOPLE BEGAN WRITING TO HULK ASSUMING HULK HAD WRITTEN THE PIECE.... AND IN CASE IT NOT CLEAR, HULK DIDN'T. SO HULK SPOKE UP AND BROUGHT THE ISSUE TO TWITTER. THE BADASS CONTINGENT RESPONDED AMAZINGLY AND HULK THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ARTICULATE DEFENSE. WE ALL KNOW THAT HULKS ARE THE BEST OFFENSE AGAINST AN ARMY, BUT WHAT IF HULK HAS AN ARMY? YIKES... ANYWAY, IT MAY SOUND SILLY, BUT HULK GENUINELY CARES ABOUT YOU ALL AND THE FACT THAT YOU WERE JUST AS AS DEFENSIVE OF HULK WAS MEANT A GREAT DEAL. HULK SINCERELY THANK YOU.

AND THEN VULTURE ACTUALLY RESPONDED TO THE KERFUFFLE WITH THE FOLLOWING TWEETS:

 

 

 

RESPONSES:

1) UHHHH.....

2) OKAY, HULK TALK HAS BEEN AROUND FOR A BIT, BUT IT SHOULD BE MENTIONED THAT HULK HAS BEEN HULKING-OUT NOW FOR TWO
YEARS, SO LET'S NOT PRETEND THIS IS A RECENT THING OR GET INTO A CHICKEN/EGG ARGUMENT.

3) AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT FEELS FUCKING WEIRD TO BE CALLED A MEME.

HULK KNOW THAT THERE STILL A PORTION OF PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT CONSIDER THIS A GIMMICK AND THAT'S FINE. REALLY. HULK KNOWS THAT THAT HULK CAN'T HAVE THE WHOLE WORLD UNDERSTAND WHAT HULK TRYING TO DO HERE AND HULK TOTALLY ACCEPTS THAT. BUT AT THIS POINT MANY OF WONDERFUL BADASSES KNOW HOW HULK ACTUALLY APPROACHES THIS THING. IT'S NOT JUST A QUICK CASH-IN ON A GIMMICK. IT'S NOT A VALUE-LESS SURFACE OR JOKE. IT IS REALLY HULK'S OWN VOICE. IT TAKES A SHIT LOAD OF WORK, PATIENCE, AND CARE AND HULK CARES ABOUT WHAT IS SAID IN THESE PIECES A GREAT DEAL. IT'S SOMETHING HULK TRULY BELIEVES IN. AND THE HULK-VOICE IS A CADENCE THAT HULK ACTUALLY FEELS CONTRIBUTES TO SOMETHING VERY, VERY IMPORTANT IN THE WAY OF AFFECTATION. EVEN WITH THE HULK-VOICE, HULK OFTEN GETS VERY PERSONAL, EVEN DOWNRIGHT PHILOSOPHICAL. HONESTLY, HULKING FEELS LIKE A COMPLETE NATURAL EXTENSION AT THIS POINT SO... YEAH IT FELT WEIRD TO BE THOUGHT OF AS A MEME..

ESPECIALLY, WHEN IT'S SAID IN SERVICE OF SOMEONE ELSE WRITING A HULK FILM/TV CRITICISM PIECE.

AND YES, HULK FULLY AWARE THAT THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO OWNERSHIP OF HULK-DOM. IT'S JUST LIKE HULK SAID IN THE NEW YORKER PIECE, THERE'S A WHOLE WAY TO EXPLORE THE IDEA IN NEW AND INTERESTING WAYS. BUT LET'S BE CURT FOR A SECOND... THIS WASN'T A NEW AND INTERESTING WAY. AGAIN, IF PEOPLE WERE WRITING IN AS IF HULK WROTE THE ARTICLE IS THE CLEAR TIP-OFF THAT THEIR CONSIDERATION WAS DEAD WRONG.

AND BEYOND THE PUSH-PULL OF MEME ACCREDITATION AND GIMMICKRY, THERE IS THE FAR MORE STARK REALITY THAT HULK A WORKING WRITER WHO TRYING TO MAKE A WAY IN THIS WORLD. WHO HAS CARVED OUT A LITTLE NICHE AND A WONDERFUL AUDIENCE AND HULK COULD NOT BE MORE THANKFUL ABOUT IT. HULK EVEN READS VULTURE A BUNCH AND WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE THAN HAPPY TO WRITE THE ARTICLE FOR A PITTANCE, IF THAT. BUT ALAS, THE CASUAL DISMISSAL OF VULTURE FOR ALL THESE REAL-LIFE CONSIDERATIONS MADE IT EVEN WORSE.

IN THE END IT'S JUST NOT SO FUN TO BE THOUGHT OF AS A MEME.

MEMES ARE DISPOSABLE.

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