Somebody Adapt This Guy’s 10 Year Long Dystopian Game of CIVILIZATION II!

One man has been playing an out-of-date Sid Meier game for a decade. The results are ugly.

I really like the Sid Meier Civilization games (Civiilization Revolution is one of the most-used apps on my iPhone), but I don't tend to stick with them. They overwhelm me. 

One man has more moxie than I do, and he's been playing the same game of Civilization II for ten years. The game is now hopelessly retro, but this version of the strategy classic has many features that future editions jettisoned, including a global warming function. Which has turned this guy's world into hell itself. He posted about it on Reddit:

I've been playing the same game of Civ II for 10 years. Though long outdated, I grew fascinated with this particular game because by the time Civ III was released, I was already well into the distant future. I then thought that it might be interesting to see just how far into the future I could get and see what the ramifications would be. Naturally I play other games and have a life, but I often return to this game when I'm not doing anything and carry on. The results are as follows.

The world is a hellish nightmare of suffering and devastation.

There are 3 remaining super nations in the year 3991 A.D, each competing for the scant resources left on the planet after dozens of nuclear wars have rendered vast swaths of the world uninhabitable wastelands.

-The ice caps have melted over 20 times (somehow) due primarily to the many nuclear wars. As a result, every inch of land in the world that isn't a mountain is inundated swamp land, useless to farming. Most of which is irradiated anyway.

-As a result, big cities are a thing of the distant past. Roughly 90% of the worlds population (at it's peak 2000 years ago) has died either from nuclear annihilation or famine caused by the global warming that has left absolutely zero arable land to farm. Engineers (late game worker units) are always busy continuously building roads so that new armies can reach the front lines. Roads that are destroyed the very next turn when the enemy goes. So there isn't any time to clear swamps or clean up the nuclear fallout.

-Only 3 super massive nations are left. The Celts (me), The Vikings, And the Americans. Between the three of us, we have conquered all the other nations that have ever existed and assimilated them into our respective empires.

-You've heard of the 100 year war? Try the 1700 year war. The three remaining nations have been locked in an eternal death struggle for almost 2000 years. Peace seems to be impossible. Every time a cease fire is signed, the Vikings will surprise attack me or the Americans the very next turn, often with nuclear weapons. Even when the U.N forces a peace treaty. So I can only assume that peace will come only when they're wiped out. It is this that perpetuates the war ad infinitum. Have any of you old Civ II players out there ever had this problem in the post-late game?

-Because of SDI, ICBMS are usually only used against armies outside of cities. Instead, cities are constantly attacked by spies who plant nuclear devices which then detonate (something I greatly miss from later civ games). Usually the down side to this is that every nation in the world declares war on you. But this is already the case so its no longer a deterrent to anyone. My self included.

-The only governments left are two theocracies and myself, a communist state. I wanted to stay a democracy, but the Senate would always over-rule me when I wanted to declare war before the Vikings did. This would delay my attack and render my turn and often my plans useless. And of course the Vikings would then break the cease fire like clockwork the very next turn. Something I also miss in later civ games is a little internal politics. Anyway, I was forced to do away with democracy roughly a thousand years ago because it was endangering my empire. But of course the people hate me now and every few years since then, there are massive guerrilla (late game barbarians) uprisings in the heart of my empire that I have to deal with which saps resources from the war effort.

-The military stalemate is air tight. The post-late game in civ II is perfectly balanced because all remaining nations already have all the technologies so there is no advantage. And there are so many units at once on the map that you could lose 20 tank units and not have your lines dented because you have a constant stream moving to the front. This also means that cities are not only tiny towns full of starving people, but that you can never improve the city. "So you want a granary so you can eat? Sorry; I have to build another tank instead. Maybe next time."

-My goal for the next few years is to try and end the war and thus use the engineers to clear swamps and fallout so that farming may resume. I want to rebuild the world. But I'm not sure how. If any of you old Civ II players have any advice, I'm listening.

Most of the Civ players on Reddit gave him the same advice: go fundamentalist! That way your citizens will be happy, getting rid of the sporadic guerilla problem. Also, fundamentalist dictatorships make more money in the game, and they can produce very cheap cannon fodder units.

There's something wonderfully evocative about the world that the game has created. I think it's because Civilization requires you to play through all of history, so by the time you get to the 3900s you've seen over 5000 years of human life on Earth. And because of the way Civilization works, the endgame civilizations are quite different from any we see existing today. The idea of a future dystopia ruled by a fundamentalist American culture, a pagan Viking theocracy (advancing at Odin's whims!) and a commie Celtic state, each throwing nukes willy nilly at hopelessly irradiated floodplains, is kind of awesome. I want to see this world brought to life somehow.

You can follow the world's further adventures at /r/theeternalwar. And remember - there's already been one Reddit thread optioned for a movie!

Thanks to @AWBiggs for the link.