Theater Ninjas Will Take Your Texting Ass Out

A London theater will employ black-suited ninjas to deal with unruly patrons.

At the Alamo Drafthouse the pre-show entertainment includes a 'Don't talk' message that threatens to take your ass out if you chat or text during a movie. It's one of the defining characteristics of the theater, which has a zero-tolerance policy towards those who disrupt the show for others.

But a theater in London is upping the ante, introducing black-clad ninjas into their theaters to deal with talkers and texters. The Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square has a team of volunteers wearing all black lycra Morphsuits; in exchange for free movies the volunteers sit in the darkest parts of the theater, waiting for rude people to begin talking or texting, and then they descend upon them like black wisps of nightmare.

From Digital Spy:

Cinema-goer Abdul Stagg described the moment two Lycra-clad figures appeared beside him as "terrifying". He had accepted a phone call as the film was about to start.

Of course back in the old days these people would have just been 'ushers,' but that's fallen out of favor at the big chains, who usually run their auditoriums like Thunderdome. I like the general theatricality of the ninja suits, and I think using volunteers is semi-brilliant. Cost is the excuse given for a lack of theater supervision in most chains, and this surely gets right to that excuse.