Rejoice! FAST 6 Has Enough Plot To Fill A Synopsis

The highly fictional love affair between Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez continues.

We're going to get our first look at Fast 6, or whatever it ends up being called, during this weekend's Superbowl, but for right now Collider has the first synopsis for the film:

Since Dom (Diesel) and Brian’s (Walker) Rio heist toppled a kingpin’s empire and left their crew with $100 million, our heroes have scattered across the globe.  But their inability to return home and living forever on the lam have left their lives incomplete.

Meanwhile, Hobbs (Johnson) has been tracking an organization of lethally skilled mercenary drivers across 12 countries, whose mastermind (Evans) is aided by a ruthless second-in-command revealed to be the love Dom thought was dead, Letty (Rodriguez).  The only way to stop the criminal outfit is to outmatch them at street level, so Hobbs asks Dom to assemble his elite team in London.  Payment?  Full pardons for all of them so they can return home and make their families whole again.

When it says "Evans," it means Luke Evans. He's an empty suit. The only bad guy who will ever live up to the Fast & Furious name is Cole Hauser. Whatever stupid, lame ass movie explanation it takes to get that guy back in play, it will be worth it.

The Fast and Furious Gods really lucked into a kind of Oceans Eleven for secretly gay tobacco chewers with Fast Five. It sounds like they're sticking with that idea. I'm torn between celebrating the gang's reunion and lamenting the fact that from now on each new entry will copy the fifth rather than try to be its own, weird thing.

But I couldn't be more excited about the return of Letty. Watching her and Vin Diesel paw all over each other directly appeals to my sense of absurdity. It's like watching a Hollywood reenactment of Louis Anderson making out with Paula Poundstone.