Last month Vulture ran a story claiming that Zack Snyder would be the first out the gate with a standalone Star Wars movie with a film based loosely on Seven Samurai. The usual denials flew. Now Ain't It Cool has another contender for the first standalone Star Wars movie: a Yoda film.
This does not fill me with happiness, to be honest. I got exactly enough Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. With wise mentor types less is always more, a lesson no one involved in any aspect of Star Wars HAS EVER LEARNED. And not only did I get enough of him in those two movies, I got way too much of him in the Prequel films, especially the bits of him spinning and flipping and running around like a Sonic the Hedgehog character. I have zero faith in the Lucasfilm/Disney powers that be to understand this is not a good look for Yoda, and I fully expect him to be doing that same sort of bullshit in this solo movie.
How should Yoda fight? With stillness. He should be like some old master in a kung fu movie, standing there barely paying attention, blocking attacks and cutting motherfuckers down while eating an apple or something. That's badass. Tadpole hopping is not.
Maybe this won't come to pass. I know that there are a lot of standalone Star Wars movies getting pitched and developed right now. It's a race to see who gets to the finish line first, and it could be Seven Samurai or Yoda's Big Day Out or it could be something totally different altogether. Here's hoping for Momaw Nadon's Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion.