Wachowskis’ JUPITER ASCENDING To Probably Kill Sean Bean

Or perhaps we now live in a world where Sean Bean never fake dies again.

I know very little about The Wachowski's Jupiter Ascending, largely because it's irrelevant what the film is about; my ticket is sold regardless.

Still, I'm not avoiding news about it, either. And today it looks like Sean Bean has joined the film's cast, which also includes Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis. According to Deadline, Bean will play a "Han Solo-like character" named Stinger. Well, I like Han Solo, I like Sean Bean, and I never met a guy named Stinger who wasn't super honest and sensitive to my feelings as a man, so I'm chalking this up as good news.

Like I said, I still don't know what Jupiter Ascending is actually about, but /Film has a nice mini-synopsis which claims the film is "set in a time where humans are at the bottom of the evolutionary ladder and follows a woman who has been targeted for assassination by the queen of the universe." It's the casual hyperbole at the end that I appreciate most. "Queen of the Universe" is a title for imaginary games played by five year olds. In the Wachowski's hands, I'm sure it indicates something really incredible.