Paul Walker To Finally Hit It Big With HITMAN Reboot

So many components that do not compute.

Paul Walker, known largely for his work on Tammy & The T-Rex, is going to play Agent 47 in another Hitman film, this one called Agent 47 instead of just Hitman. Previously played by Timothy Olyphant, Agent 47 is a bald guy who kills people for money. Except like all hitmen, I'm sure he ends up on the run from his employers because he doesn't want to kill a little girl or something stupid like that. That shit never happened to Wee-Bey.

So this one is a bit too strange to remain silent on, yet my commentary is deeply limited by my ignorance. I know nothing about the Hitman video game series, I didn't see the original movie, and I have never killed someone for money. I don't even fully understand this English language. Where I got the arrogance to say anything about this property is anyone's guess.

And yet I feel compelled to say out loud what a bad idea I think this is. For one, Paul Walker. For two, why is a bald hitman with a barcode tattoo interesting enough to make not one but two films about? What is the specific appeal of this character? And three, why adapt a video game property only to change the name? It's like Mock Trial with J. Reinhold all over again.

The film will shoot internationally this summer with first time director Aleksander Bach (no relation). Funnily enough, one of its screenwriters is Skip Woods, who wrote the first Hitman movie. Maybe he'll just keep writing Hitman reboots to the end of his days.