Get Ready For An OLIVER TWIST Action Film

He takes his gruel with a twist of justice.

Sony is working on a surprising new take on the lucrative Oliver Twist franchise that will either confirm what you already know about Hollywood or finally induct you into the club of cynical assholes.

New Oliver Twist is called Dodge and Twist and takes place twenty years after the Old Oliver Twist. The film will focus on Oliver's rivalry with pickpocket Artful Dodger. Now all grown up and probably hot and muscular like crazy despite childhoods marred with malnourishment, the two former street rats are "on opposite sides of the law and embroiled in an affair to steal the Crown Jewels." It is not yet clear if by "the Crown Jewels" they are talking about the real jewels or Charles Dickens' testicles.

The film will apparently take its inspiration from the Guy Richie Sherlock Holmes films, so expect Oliver and Artful to fuck at some point. To put a nice cherry on top of all this, the whole project idea comes from the mind of Ahmet Zappa (the bald one). Enjoy the rest of your day.