Automatically Give Any Song Balls With “The Bonhamizer”

And boy oh boy do some songs need it.

Even if you don't love Led Zeppelin, it's hard to deny that John Bonham was one seriously badass drummer. While certainly able to show off when it came to speed, Bonham's calling card was thunder. He hit his drums hard and greatly helped Led Zeppelin create its epic sound. If Zeus were a drummer he'd be John Bonham (if Dionysys were a drummer, he'd be Keith Moon).

Paul Lamere has created a website that will take any song you upload and recut it so it can host a fat John Bonham beat. You can choose from four patterns: Hammer of the Gods, Basic Bonham, Double Time Shuffle, and Bonham Shuffle. Obviously, Hammer of the Gods is the one you want.

The website has some of Paul's favorite matches, and I recommend sorting through those before going after your own magical combos. Some work better than others. "Karma Police," for instance, basically sounds the same. "Norwegian Wood," never quite comes together. But "Some Nights" is now suddenly acceptable.

It's President's Day, and you know this is what Theodore Roosevelt would be doing today were he still alive. Get to it in his memory.