PERFECT STRANGERS Browser Game Demands Your Attention

A beautiful piece of our collective worthlessness.

I watched a ton of Perfect Strangers when I was a little toddler boy. As such, I remember absolutely none of it save for an instinctive distrust of Mark Linn-Baker. I'm not even familiar with the theme song.

But even I know this brief and simple video game adaptation is something special. Set up as a kind of endless runner but without the "endless" part, the game tasks you with controlling Balki as he collects a bunch of stars while running down a path that transforms from city street to Balki's village to Heaven itself. The flying screen is particularly brutal.

Before you play, the game asks you to to type in your dream. Upon finishing the track, the game jumbles up your dream text depending on how many stars you collected. My first dream was "I want to... have a threeway." Being new to the game, I didn't do so well and ended up with "I want to... hase e tgreawayou." My second run was far more successful. Instead of "I want to... eat flatuence," I came up with the very respectable "I want to... eat fdatuedhe." My third run, I just let Balki do whatever he wanted and "I want to... end it all" became "I want to... evy aj iqlh." If you get 100% I assume your dream comes true, and you no longer have a life worth wasting on a dumb Perfect Strangers video game.

There are definitely some kinks to work out which will likely never get worked out. But it's still an admirable attempt. The game exists solely to sell Perfect Strangers DVDs and iTunes episodes. But as far as commercials go, you could do a lot worse. Playing it won't cost you much more than a minute. If it's really popular, someone might pony up for the Family Matters version we all really want.

Play it here. And good luck on achieving your dreams.