New SCARY MOVIE 5 Trailer Almost Impressively Awful

Always look on the bright side of life.

Normally I wouldn't post about something as typically awful as a new Scary Movie film. But I felt a burning desire to share this new trailer as sort of a cultural artifact worthy of your awe. Sometimes we have to see how bad things can get before a new dawn can rise.

This isn't comedy. It isn't even anti-comedy, which at least examines why we laugh at things. Instead, this is what it looks like what happens when low hanging fruit pickers start bringing chairs to work.

These jokes are so bad, so tired and predictable, that they're almost inspiring. Usually careers in the arts come as a result of some magnificent achievement. But this is like when you see people dressed like the Statue of Liberty dancing on the side of the road while holding an advertisement for some income tax business and thinking, "Shit, I could do that."

What's really sad is that I actually like the first two Scary Movies, especially Part 2. And although I find this a very strange sentence to write, the series looked to have taken a nosedive after trading the Wayans Brothers for one of the Zucker Brothers (David, the crazy right-wing one). Now I don't even know where the series is. Zucker helped write this new one, but it was directed by Undercover Brother director Malcolm D. Lee.

I do wish Scary Movie 5 luck. Maybe they're trying a bold new advertising angle where they save all the funny parts for the film. That'd be great. Here's a poster to help bring out those positive vibes. Charlie Sheen's boner is a ghost.