Stupid Assholes Rebooting ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK With Origin Story

*quits*

Hey kids, ever wondered what Snake Plissken's origin was? Of course you didn't, you're not a stupid asshole. But Joel Silver is fucking DYING to know, and so he's working with Studio Canal to reboot Escape From New York, a masterpiece of a film, with a Snake Plissken origin story. 

Silver's horrible, asshole plan is to make a trilogy that begins with Snake's origins and then moves on to probably a beat for beat remake of Escape From New York that they'll claim is a new vision. All of this will be in service of making a Snake Plissken film that makes Escape From LA look like a great movie. 

Maybe I'm too mad about this. I mean, we live in the remix era. Creativity is dead. But it isn't so much the remaking of Escape From New York that bugs me, it's the idea that Joel Silver believes we need to see Snake lose his eye. Why? For centuries we have enjoyed characters who come to us fully formed, and we have not demanded an accounting of every moment of their life. Why now do we suddenly have to do these extensive fucking background checks? Why does every character need a complete life story played out on screen? What else did we really need to know about Snake Plissken that Escape From New York didn't tell us?

Hopefully this movie never takes off, just like the New Line Cinema remake of Escape From New York (which was to be directed by Breck Eisner). 

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