More Super Hot Michael Bay-Jonathan Liebesman TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES Casting

There will be no more lesbians after this film comes out.

Last week we learned that Adonis-like underwear model Alan Ritchson would be playing Raphael in the upcoming Michael Bay-produced and Jonathan Liebesman-directed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.

Now, Deadline claims to have the rest of the turtles pinned down and bagged (tea). Pete Ploszek will play Leonardo. Noel Fisher is going to be Michaelangelo. And Jeremy Howard will play Donatello. We may not know who these guys are now, but soon they will all be household faces.

Of these three newcomers, the obvious hottest would have to be Pete Ploszek. I think, anyway. He hasn't been in anything other than an episode of Shameless and an episode of Parks and Recreation. I can only find two pictures of him, so I'm only 60% he looks like this:

Still, if that's him, Leonardo is sure to make the ladies swoon, giving the character an opportunity to be liked for the first time ever.

As Michaelangelo, Noel Fisher is just a little bit less hot. It's kind of hard to say as he looks completely different in every picture I see of him. The one thing he never looks like is a fun party animal, so I'd like to start the rumor right now that this iteration of Turtles intends to transform Michaelangelo from the "fun one" into the one who "cuts his arms a lot." Here he is in his Twilight garb:

As for Jeremy Howard, he looks like this:

You might recognize Howard from his work as the lead in pretty much every CG animated film ever made that featured humans. With his casting, it seems clear that Bay and Liebesman want to hit the nerd bag pretty hard with their version of Donatello. That may seem like a poor decision for a film so obviously dependant on winning female fans, but Howard's casting actually helps the film cover more female bases. Now girl-nerds will want to see it as well.

In short: Best movie ever. These guys are going to be so fucking hot as turtles. It'll be fun watching April O'Neil try not to fall into lust with each and every one of them.

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