Has The Time For TROLLS Returned?

Dreamworks Animation sure hopes so.

Do you remember Trolls? Not the big ugly things from Lord of the Rings and not the ugly little guys from Troll or the really ugly little guys from Troll 2, but rather those tiny ugly bastards with naked, pansexual baby bodies, wild colorful hair, and old man faces that everyone went crazy about in the 1990s?

Well, now they're going to be popular again, even if that popularity is entirely artificial and not at all reflected in sales.

Dreamworks Animation has hired American Girl overseer (for those who don't know, American Girl is a line of dolls, all of which are American and all of which are girls except for the elusive Yakov Smirnoff figure), Shawn Dennis to turn the Trolls brand into a movie and television franchise. They recently bought the rights from original Trolls owner, the Dam Company, and want to start growing that dough as soon as possible. This should help them shake off that pesky "New Pixar" label they've been developing.

Chances are really good that these particular Trolls will refrain from ripping heads off of children and popping them between their teeth like cherry tomatoes, which is unfortunate. They're much more likely to shoot rainbows out of their belly buttons and teach each other from being uncomfortable around Wheelchair Troll and stuff like that.

So consider this a warning. We currently live in a Troll-light world, but that is coming to an end. We have only one year, eighteen months tops, before our culture is once again drowned in this Troll stuff. Use that time wisely.