Vin Diesel Is Coming For Your Kids Again

We don't really deserve Vin Diesel, but somehow we got him anyway. It's better we don't ask why. Just enjoy his cultural presence while it lasts. Especially since it might be on its way out again.

Because Vin Diesel is basically a muscle bound shell filled with little other than future protein poops and love for all mankind, he cannot merely sit back and just be a big action hero in his one and a half franchises. Children are a big part of the human race, and he is determined to show them his love as well.

To that end, Vin Diesel has taken the goodwill received from the awesome Fast Five and decided to take another go at your children. Actually, he spent the goodwill on the new Riddick movie. This kid thing he bought on credit.

According to Deadline Vin Diesel is currently in talks with MGM about reteaming with The Pacifier director and potentially most feared prison inmate since Bronson, Adam Shankman, for a film called The Machine. Basically, Vin Diesel would play a muscular robot created by the government who gets discovered and befriended by a child. When the Government come looking for their Diesel, the kid has to protect him. Or the other way around. Or maybe a bit of both. Regardless of whoever ends up protecting who, they all fall in love and Vin Diesel gets to be the kid's new dad, and all that that implies.

So, like I said. We don't really deserve Vin Diesel. But I'm so glad he's here.