A MEDIEVAL TIMES Movie Could Soon Be Possible

'Twill look great but taste mediocre.

Thousands of years ago, back when humans and dinosaurs co-existed and had a partnership not to eat one another, William Shakespeare opened the very first Midieval Times restaurant in the quaint village of Strapon Von Aveda.

The restaurant was not as put together as the Midieval Times we know today, but it was close. Patrons sat in stands, slurping Coca-Cola as two brave fighters jousted each other to death both for entertainment and gourmet nourishment. In the many years that have passed since then, very little about the restaurant has changed. The main difference being that the joust's loser is no longer beheaded on stage but behind closed doors by each restaurant's current butcher. For today we are cultured.

Now it looks like Midieval Times will be taking its epic jousting and "turkey" legs to the big screen. Production companies Broken Road and Benderspink ("Benderspink? I hardly knew'er spink!") have teamed with the restaurant chain to pitch a movie version of the restaurant to studios.

In other words, this is less a news story than a heads up that actually news stories may come down the pike, perhaps in a couple years or so. Unless they bribe studio heads with free cheese stick coupons, that is.

Full discloser: I own Benderspink. And yes, I do have a shitload of free cheese stick coupons.

Fuller discloser: That's not true. Furthermore, I have never even been to a Midieval Times. Do they even have cheese sticks?