God loves the Internet. A lot of really bad shit happens these days mostly because God is too busy fucking around on Reddit to rig elections, keep children from being sold into slavery, and other duties like that.
But in His own way, He does still like to do nice things for us. Like, He knows how much we enjoy laughing at cute cats. So he sent unto the Earth a cat who frowns. God named the cat Tardar Sauce, but as usual his first draft was a fuck up, and the cat's actual name ended up being Grumpy Cat. God was correct, however, about how much joy pictures of this cat would bring to white people.
Now the cat's popularity has reached a new plateau even God didn't anticipate. Deadline reports that a Grumpy Cat movie is in the works. At this point, the project is little more than a pitch, but check back with us in the five to ten minutes.
Grumpy Cat: The Movie will feature either the real cat or a CG version, or maybe even a puppet. The cat will talk. He will hate Mondays and love lasagna and all of that shit. I hope the cat is voiced by Bill Murray and Bruce Willis talking in unison.