The Arnold Schwarzenegger Zombie Movie You Always Wanted Is Coming

The slow, slow, slow death of daddy's little girl.

According to Deadline, Arnold Schwarzenegger has lined up another project. And while all of his upcoming films have a wrinkle or two making them worth looking forward to, this one might take the cake.

Apparently Maggie, this magical new Arnold movie, will find Schwarzenegger playing father to a young lady who is slowly (very very slowly, I'm guessing) turning into a zombie. The film will be directed by Henry Hobson, who has no other directing credits, and has been written by John Scott 3, who has no other writing credits, but is apparently the breathtaking conclusion to his own epic trilogy.

In other words, pedigree does not enter our ability to come up with expectations. I'm not even certain of the film's tone. On a macro level it sounds like an obvious comedy, but if you stop and think it over, the premise could also be quite heartbreaking, similar to how we all initially misread Schwarzenegger's Help! My Son is a Nerd. The script was on the Black List, so it might actually be well written.

As one of the very few Junior fans in the world, this is obviously a film I will follow to the very gates of Hell, where I'm sure to be lonely and made to feel stupid.