Geek Deal: Infant Circumcision Trainer, White

Reduced 11%! Get it while you can!

Amazon is one of my favorite things ever because they sell everything. And I mean everything. While most of us never go deeper than games or books or Blu-rays, the Amazon database includes some truly weird shit a couple of levels down. The sort of stuff that used to only be available through specialty supply shops, the sort of stuff that regular people would never even know existed.

Stuff like an Infant Circumcision Trainer. It's a dummy baby cock with which you can practice de-foreskination. And since you're slicing at the baby cock, it comes with extra replacement weiners. Unlike real babies, which is why you practice first!

Maybe the best thing about this Amazon page? It has been discovered by anti-circumcision activists, who have left reviews like this:

This product is a huge disappointment.
It's not at all realistic, and therefore no good for practice for medical students.
* The glans is not fused to the foreskin as it should be, and so there is no sensation of ripping the foreskin from the glands.
* Practicing without the very real smell and sight of gushing blood could be distracting once it's time for the real thing.
* There's no screaming. Students will have to learn to block out and ignore the screaming, helpless pleas from the baby, begging someone, anyone, to save him. -It is vital to learn to block these out. If you save the baby we don't get paid.
* There is no frenulum (Male G spot) to cut through. Students need to practice cutting away all of the frenulum so they can efficiently decrease the orgasmic sensation the circumcised baby will have as a man.
* The rest of the body is missing. Students will need to learn to properly force helpless infants into a circumstraint. They must effectively grip and restrain each thrashing limb. We wouldn't want any baby boys being INJURED while we are cutting pieces away from their bodies.

The one good thing I can say about it is there is no face, no pleading eyes to look into, as you ignore every humane instinct and force your Scalpel through the baby's genitals.

I don't really mind that you can't tell if you have botched it, because in the end it doesn't matter. We get paid regardless, and the parents have signed a waiver so we won't ever get sued. *Muahahaha*

I'm wondering how this can be worked into Fantastic Fest.