We can all agree that Navy SEALs are among the most badass Americans. Smart, tough, committed and willing to murder the fuck out of you in the dead of night, Navy SEALs are among the last people you want to mess with. But would you rather mess with a Navy SEAL or a ninja? Who is superior? We now know what the Supreme SEAL, Admiral William McRaven thinks.
McRaven answered a letter from a 6 year old free-thinker Walker Greentree, who posed a question that has kept many of us awake at night:
Dear Admiral McRaven,
When I grow up I want to be a SEAL too, but can you tell me who is quieter -- SEALs or Ninjas? Also, how long can you hold your breath for?
Bully for the Greentrees, who have already indoctrinated their son into the idea that his dream career path involves killing people, and most likely people of a diffferent ethnic background. When I was 6 I wanted to be an astronaut and explore the cosmos for all mankind but I was, admittedly, a total fucking pussy.
Troubling implications of a child wanting to become a deadly agent of US imperialism aside, what did McRaven have to say to this provactive query? If you think "Well, Walker, this is like a gift for websites looking for clickthroughs," you're wrong, but only factually.
I think ninjas are probably quieter than SEALs, but we are better swimmers, and also better with guns and blowing things up... I can hold my breath for a long time, but I try not to unless I really have to.
Remember, if you want to be a SEAL, you must do two things: listen to your parents and be nice to the other kids. If you do that then you can probably be a SEAL too.
The obey authority part of that advice I get. Maybe the 'be nice' stuff is all about tricking your enemies into complacency so you can shoot them with a silenced weapon while they sleep.
McRaven is certainly on target with the terrifying silence of the ninja, but the rest of it? I'll give SEALs swimming - with their name they must be great swimmers - but the blowing stuff up business sits wrong with me. Ninja can blow shit up. They definitely wouldn't use guns, though. Why would you, when you have all those shuriken at your disposal.
Are you a parent? What are your child's dreams of destroying other human beings? Let us know in the comments.