Vanilla Ice Knows He’ll Never Top Terrible TMNT II: SECRET OF THE OOZE

The tragedy of self-awareness hits Vanilla Ice.

You have to feel bad for the folks at Rockstar Games. All of the satire they've packed into the Grand Theft Auto games over the years has been completely undermined by reality, where Vanilla Ice has a new show that involves him living with the Amish. It's called Vanilla Ice Goes Amish

After you're done processing this latest cultural nadir, check out this depressing quote from Ice, who was asked if he would like to be involved somehow in the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot. You'll recall (if you're unlucky) that Ice did a song for the unwatchably terrible Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze called Ninja Rap

“Hell yes! ‘Secret of the Ooze’ is the highlight of my life and I’ll never top it!”

That's like a fucking Bruce Springsteen song. Maybe Ice should be writing lyrics about this newfound self-awareness of his tragic, weird life. In the meantime, he has some ideas on how he could pop up in this new movie:

“We could do a remake of the Ninja Rap, this time with dub-step! [Laughs] Or even [a role without rapping]. Anything, somewhere in there. Michael Bay’s doing this one, it’s huge!”

Eh, why not? It couldn't make the film any worse.