What Happens When Ten Young Assholes Watch HALLOWEEN For The First Time?

Is Halloween still effective today? It's an old movie, after all, and the younger generation is used to more hardcore horror, like people in found footage movies saying 'Is anyone there?' Yahoo! decided to show ten Millenials the movie and gauge their reaction, and along the way they proved that maybe movie watching is dead.

The kids, all college-aged, seemed to not like it, which most of them rating it about a 5 out of 10 in terms of possible scariness. "It was extremely corny," said Ryan Eclarin, a senior English major at UCLA. "I found it immensely more comical than scary."

But what bugs me isn't that these awful Millenials didn't like the movie, which is a bummer, it's that the article makes it really clear that they watched it at home and tweeted through it. The article includes images of the tweets these schmucks were making while watching the movie, like this witty gem from our pal Ryan:

Garbage person and community college student Jason Serio said, in his best Buzzfeed language, "It was one of the LOL-worthiest movies I have seen in a while." Others also live-tweeted with trenchant insights like this one:

We can definitely have a conversation about whether or not Halloween still works, not just because the film is old but also because it's so influential that the countless imitators and rip-offs and riffs and homages make it all seem watered down if you come to it late. But what we cannot have a conversation about is whether Halloween works if you have your dumb fucking face in your phone the whole time you're watching it. Halloween, like all real movies, was made to be watched in a dark room, probably with a bunch of other people around you, while having very few distractions. If Ryan is trying to beat the next level of Candy Crush he's going to utterly miss out on the suspense that John Carpenter is masterfully building because suspense asks of Millenials the one thing they refuse to give: THEIR ATTENTION. 

I think I'm being a little bit unfair to Generation Remix, because I see people of all ages tweeting their way through movies - even professional film critics. If you're looking at your phone while you're watching a movie, you're not really watching the movie. I don't care about your opinion of that movie; it would be like if you had a movie on in one room and you kept walking in while doing laundry and catching snippets of it - you're not experiencing the movie! I know that I'm getting old because I remember a time when watching TV was a sign of having a shitty attention span, and now nobody seems to have the attention span required to watch TV. 

Is Halloween still scary 35 years later? Next time we investigate, let's get some people who will watch the movie instead of refresh Twitter to see if anybody fav'd their stupid joke.