R. Kelly is the world's dumbest genius, and I love him. Were he to murder a small child, I'm pretty sure I'd let it slide. I don't generally subscribe to the deeply misogynist notion that a man with mythic sexuality can transform a lesbian into a Budweiser ad, but for R. Kelly I might make an exception.
It's been kind of a dry spell as far as insane R. Kelly sex songs go. That all changes very soon with the release of Black Panties, which appears to be all sex all the time. The album doesn't come out until December 10, but you can stream it here. If you just want a preview, though, let it be known that there's a song called "Marry the Pussy" which features the lyric: "If I'm ever in the mood for two pussies, then a pussy will bring another pussy to me." And a solitary tear rolls down Gloria Steinem's face.
Here's the track listing
1. Legs Shakin’ ft Ludacris
3. Throw This Money On You
5. Marry The Pussy
6. You Deserve Better
8. All The Way ft Kelly Rowland
9. My Story ft 2 Chainz
10. Right Back
11. Spend That ft Young Jeezy
12. Crazy Sex
13. Shut Up
But that's not all. There's also a deluxe version which features these additional songs:
14. Tear It Up ft Future
15. Show Ya Pussy ft Migos and Juicy J
16. Every Position
…and this alternate cover art:
(poor Kells - he does not yet realize that all these girls have the flu)
Jesus Christ. I've been listening to this stream, and every single overly literal line he sings is amazing. I need a shower. Don't ask which kind.