Shia LaBeouf Breaks His Diet In New NYMPHOMANIAC Poster

Alternate Headline: Shia LaBeouf is about to watch BLADE II.

I am beginning to think this Nymphomaniac movie (I have decided to refrain from this () stuff) might be a little dirty. Its posters, trailer, title, and mission statement all appear to be about sex. Not just sex, either, but graphic stuff you normally have to like sex to enjoy.

Today's poster (they're doing the promotion for this like an advent calendar, right?), offers a perfect example. In it, Shia LaBeouf or maybe Jason Schwartzman, appears ready to perform cunnilingus on Mrs. Nomaniac. It's weird because she's supposed to be really addicted to getting it on, but she seems way more into eating an apple and looking at a completely blank book. Is this a comment on the emptiness of casual sex or a comment on Shia LaBeouf in general? We'll have to watch all 8 movies to find out.

Nymphomaniac will actually come out in two parts, kind of what happens like when you take that earring out of your wing-wang. You can see the first part in a theater with strangers on March 21. You can see the second part in a theater with strangers on April 18. The rest of us will see it when it's available On Demand starting April 3.

And as always, I genuinely hope someone eventually makes a sex-addict movie about really ugly people. We deserve representation, too.