Ben Affleck Fondles My New Girlfriend In GONE GIRL EW Cover

Hands off, Affleck!

Ben Affleck is a handsome guy. He's also a charming guy. On top of that, his career is suddenly in a much better place than ever before. So he needs to get his stinking paws off my new girlfriend.

I understand that there's a transition time during which death workers must wait for the bereaved to let their lover's corpse go. Ben Affleck is pushing it. On top of that, he's not holding her hand or kissing her forehead like normal. He's pulling a full-on John and Yoko thing with her. So not only do I have to wait longer than normal, but he's probably damaging whatever goods are left. Normally I'd let it go, but she's so pretty! At least he was nice enough to take his shoes off.

I wonder what was going on between these two, that he would hold onto her so closely. Maybe they'll turn it into a movie one day. Not that I'd see it. I only watch movies with Tyler Perry in them.