HULK’S FAVORITE MOVIES: TAXI ZUM KLO (1980)
PEOPLE ASK THE QUESTION ALL THE TIME: "How come no one ever made a great porn film with, like, an actual great story?!?"
HULK'S ANSWER IS ALWAYS THE SAME: "THEY TOTALLY DID! IT'S JUST THAT IT IS A 1980 GERMAN FILM AND FEATURES HARDCORE GAY SEX INSTEAD."
THEIR (UNFORTUNATE) ANSWER: "... Oh."
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MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT, TAXI ZUM KLO (TRANSLATED LOOSELY AS "TAXI TO THE TOILET") IS ONE OF HULK'S FAVORITE MOVIES, FOR ITS EFFECT ON A YOUNGER HULK WAS BOTH TRANSFORMATIVE AND INSPIRING. BUT PERHAPS HULK WAS MISLEADING YOU A BIT IN THE OPENING ANECDOTE, FOR IT DOESN'T QUITE HAVE A TRADITIONAL, PLOT-CENTRIC WESTERN STORY. IT MORE TAKES ON THE NATURAL SHAPE OF AN EPISODIC CHRONICLE OF ONE MAN'S LIFE - A CHARACTER BY THE NAME OF FRANK RIPPLOH - AND WE FOLLOW HIM AS HE NAVIGATES THE DIFFICULTIES AND JOYS OF BEING A GAY MAN IN 1980'S BERLIN.
WHAT IS PERHAPS WORTH NOTING IS HOW UNLIKE THIS FILM IS FROM OUR CURRENT INTELLECTUAL TREATMENT OF FILMS ABOUT SEXUALITY. IT SEEMS THERE IS THE INCREASING NOTION THAT BECAUSE SEX IS SO OFTEN USED IN CINEMA FOR THE PURPOSES OF CHEAP AROUSAL OR ATTRACTION (THAT WOULD BE "THE PORNOGRAPHIC IMPULSE") THAT THE BEST WAY TO TRULY GET TO THE HEART OF WHAT SEX MEANS INVOLVES SUPPRESSING THIS VERY ELEMENT OF AROUSAL. THUS THEY OFTEN USE THE TACTIC OF IMBUING EVERYTHING WITH A MORE COLD, UGLY AND CEREBRAL QUALITY. THE DESIRED EFFECT IS TO BE SOBERING. IF THIS SOUNDS STRANGE THERE ARE A FEW GOOD POPULAR EXAMPLES THAT USE THIS TACTIC, LIKE STEVE MCQUEEN'S SHAME OR CATHERINE BREILLAT'S ROMANCE, AND HOPEFULLY THIS HELPS ILLUSTRATE WHY THOSE MOVIES "FELT" THE WAY THEY DID. AND WHILE BOTH OF THESE FILMS ARE EXAMPLES OF AMAZING WORK (AND COMPLETELY TRUE TO THEIR FUNCTION), HULK WILL ARGUE THAT WHAT MAKES TAXI ZUM KLO SO MEMORABLE IS THAT INSTEAD OF TAKING THE COLD TACT, IT IS INSTEAD A WARM, JOVIAL FILM THAT IS MEANT TO BE A CELEBRATION OF FRANK'S LIFE AND LOVE, ALL EXPRESSED THROUGH A UNIQUE HOME-MOVIE-LIKE QUALITY.
THAT AESTHETIC CHOICE IS NOT ONLY WHAT HELPS GET IT AWAY FROM THAT IDEA, BUT PART OF WHAT MAKES THE FILM FEEL SO INTIMATE. THROUGH THIS AESTHETIC HE FINDS A WAY TO EXPRESS THE SIMPLE-YET-TRUE REALITIES OF EVERYDAY LIFE. FRANK GETS UP. HE GETS READY FOR WORK. HE HAS A MUNDANE COMMUTE, WHERE HE GOES TO HIS JOB AS A SCHOOLTEACHER AND INSTRUCTS THESE YOUNG, BRIGHT, TROUBLESOME MINDS. AND AS A TEACHER? FRANK IS GOOFY. LIKABLE. OFTEN SILLY. AND EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE. BUT THE FILM'S PORTRAYAL OF THIS MUNDANE REGULAR LIFE STUFF IS WHOLLY MATCHED BY HIS GROWING SOCIAL LIFE AND THE SURPRISE OF FALLING IN LOVE. AND SO HIS PERSONAL QUEST IS ONE THAT ENDS UP BEING QUITE UNIVERSAL FOR A LOT OF US: THE QUEST FOR BALANCE. WHAT PERHAPS MAKES IT SEEM SO DIFFERENT IS THE FACT THAT THIS FILM IS UNFLINCHINGLY HONEST IN ITS PORTRAYAL OF FRANK'S SPIRAL INTO HIS "CRUISING" LIFESTYLE. AGAIN, DO NOT MISTAKE THIS FOR SOME MORALIZING, DRAMATIC TALE THAT SEEKS TO PUNISH ITS CHARACTERS FOR THEIR LUST BECAUSE THE FILM ACTUALLY HAS A TREMENDOUS SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT ALL THIS; PERHAPS BEST EXEMPLIFIED BY THE SCENE IN WHICH FRANK GRADES PAPERS AS HE'S ABOUT TO HOOK UP WITH STRANGERS IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM. BUT THIS IS ALSO NOT TO IMPLY THAT THIS IS A FILM WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE. FOR ONE NIGHT THE CHARACTER OF FRANK GOES OUT TO THE POPULAR "QUEEN'S BALL" WEARING A PRINCESS COSTUME AND STAYS SUPER LATE AND SUDDENLY REALIZES HE WON'T HAVE TIME TO GO HOME AND CHANGE BEFORE SCHOOL. SO, RATHER THAN BE LATE TO WORK, HE GOES INTO SCHOOL AND TRIES TO TURN HIS COSTUME INTO A JOKE AROUND A LESSON PLAN. FRANK IS, OF COURSE, FIRED FOR THIS OFFENSE. HIS SUPERIORS SIMPLY HAD THE ABILITY TO PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER REGARDING WHERE HE WAS. YES, FRANK IS PRETTY MUCH FIRED FOR BEING GAY. THERE IS NO RECOURSE FOR HIM. NO SUPPORT. NO REBUTTAL.
SO HE WENT OUT AND MADE A FILM ABOUT IT.
OH YEAH, HULK FORGOT TO MENTION THAT PART. FRANK RIPPLOH IS THE NAME OF THE MAIN CHARACTER, BECAUSE FRANK RIPPLOH HAS WRITTEN, DIRECTED AND STARRED IN THE STORY OF HIS LIFE . TO BOOT, MANY OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS FILM ARE RE-ENACTING THEIR REAL-LIFE ROLES. WHAT MAY SEEM AS MERELY AN AUDACIOUS TACTIC IS ACTUALLY PART OF WHAT HELPS GIVES THIS FILM ITS WEIGHT AND IMPORT. THIS FILM IS AS PERSONAL A STATEMENT AS IT GETS. AND WHILE IT MIGHT HAVE SEEMED UNCOUTH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHY HULK TOLD YOU THE WHOLE DAMN PLOT BEFORE YOU EVEN SEE IT. HULK ARGUES THIS IS OKAY BECAUSE 1) THAT'S HOW HULK FIRST HEARD ABOUT THE MOVIE AND IT WORKED OUT GREAT. AND 2) IT EXPLAINS A HUGE PART OF THE WAY YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THE IMPACT, CONSEQUENCE AND MEANING OF WHAT YOU ARE SEEING ON SCREEN. THE FILM IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT ABOUT "HOW THIS ALL HAPPENED," WHAT IT MEANS, WHAT IT DOESN'T MEAN, AND WHY IT'S ALL SO DAMN IMPORTANT. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY IT DOES ALL THOSE THINGS FROM AN ACHINGLY HUMAN PERSPECTIVE.
STILL, FOR MANY PEOPLE (PERHAPS UNDERSTANDABLY SO), WATCHING TAXI ZUM KLO IS ABOUT THE HARDCORE SEX. SO HULK WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST THAT THERE ARE TWO IMPORTANT THINGS TO NOTE REGARDING THIS ISSUE:
1) THERE ARE PLENTY OF LIBERAL FOLKS OUT THERE WHO ARE 100% COMFORTABLE WITH GAY PEOPLE AND YET HAVE NEVER REALLY BECOME COMFORTABLE WATCHING GAY MEN HAVE SEX. YES, THEY HAVE LEARNED TOLERANCE AND CAN EMBRACE THE NOTION OF SOMEONE HAVING A DIFFERENT SEXUALITY, EVEN SO FAR AS CONSIDER THE IDEA OF "GAY MEN HAVING SEX" AS BEING ABSOLUTELY FINE AND NATURAL, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE ACTUAL WATCHING THERE IS STILL AN AVERSION THEY CANNOT HELP. AND WHAT HULK WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST IS THAT GETTING COMFORTABLE WITH WATCHING TWO GAY MEN HAVE SEX IS NOT A TERRIBLE IDEA.
NOW, THIS IS NOT TO GET INTO THE RIDICULOUS IDEA THAT TOLERANCE IS ABOUT FORCING PEOPLE TO SEE SEX STUFF THEY'RE NOT INTO (CUE THAT SOUTH PARK EPISODE WHICH IS FUNNY OR WHATEVER, BUT DEAR GOD TALK ABOUT MISSING THE POINT). WHAT HULK WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST IS THAT IF PEOPLE TRY TO WATCH TWO MEN HAVING SEX IT CAN ONLY HELP TO "NORMALIZE" THE EFFECT. AND IF IT REALLY IS NORMAL, THEN WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH THAT? CONSIDER IT A FAIR ATTEMPT TO TRANSGRESS PAST THE LAST BASTIONS OF YOUR HANG-UPS. IF YOU REALLY DO THINK THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY THEN YOU REALLY PROBABLY SHOULD BE ABLE TO WATCH IT AND BE FINE, RIGHT? IS THAT SO MUCH OF A LEAP? DOESN'T THAT SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF THING WE SHOULD TRY TO EMBRACE?
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE SO MANY PEOPLE ARE AFRAID. MAYBE THEY'RE WORRIED PEOPLE WILL SEE THEM BE UNCOMFORTABLE. MAYBE THEY'RE AFRAID THEY'D "BE INTO IT" AND THEY DON'T WANT TO BE GAY (DON'T WORRY. NO, YOU WON'T BE INTO IT AND EVEN IF YOU ARE, IS DISCOVERING A PROPER IMPULSE INSIDE YOU REALLY THAT BAD?). AND AS A RESULT WE HAVE A GENERATION OF GUYS WHO HAVE GROWN UP AND, TO PUT IT BLUNTLY, CAN WATCH A PENIS GO INTO ANYTHING BUT A GUY'S BUTT OR MOUTH. SPEAKING IN TERMS OF PURE LOGIC, ISN'T THAT A LITTLE RIDICULOUS? THE PROBLEM IS WE OVER-ASSOCIATE ANY OF THIS KIND OF IMAGERY WITH AROUSAL, WHICH IS SOMETHING WE HAVE TO DE-EMPHASIZE. THERE'S NOTHING THAT SAYS YOU ABSOLUTELY DO HAVE TO BECOME ATTRACTED TO THESE IMAGES PURELY BECAUSE WE SEE THEM. AND HECK, IF GAY MEN AND WOMEN CAN BE SWARMED WITH THE OMNIPRESENCE OF HETEROSEXUAL SEX AND GET BY RELATIVELY OKAY, THEN HULK IS POSITIVE WE CAN EXTEND OUR SENSIBILITIES TOO. AND BETTER YET, HULK SWEARS THAT BECOMING COMFORTABLE WITH THE IMAGERY CAN GO A LONG WAY TOWARD REALLY MAKING YOU COMFORTABLE WITH THE EVERYDAY REALITY OF HOMOSEXUALITY. BECAUSE, NO, IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT "TOLERATING" THE THING THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM YOU, BUT REALLY LEARNING TO SEE THAT THE THING REALLY ISN'T THAT MUCH DIFFERENT AT ALL. IT REALLY IS OKAY TO WATCH TWO MEN HAVE SEX AND FOR IT NOT TO BE A SEXUAL STATEMENT ABOUT YOURSELF. IT'S OKAY TO GET USED TO IT. IT'S OKAY TO MAKE IT NORMAL. AND IT IS CERTAINLY OKAY TO TURN IT INTO A CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE. BECAUSE...
2) THE FACT THAT YOU WON'T BE INTO THE SEX IS ACTUALLY WHAT HIGHLIGHTS THE POINT OF THIS ESSAY. AGAIN, SO OFTEN "WATCHING PEOPLE FUCK ON SCREEN" IS ABOUT YOUR INTENDED AROUSAL BECAUSE THE INTENDED POINT OF PORNOGRAPHY IS TO GET PEOPLE OFF, WHICH JUST MEANS THE STATEMENT OF "MAKING PORN INTO A GREAT MOVIE" ACTUALLY BELIES THE INTENTION OF BOTH. THE DIFFERENCE OF THE TWO DEFINITIONS IS NOT ABOUT THE LEVEL OF SEX. IT'S ABOUT THE POINT. SO IF YOU'RE WATCHING TAXI ZUM KLO AND YOU ARE WATCHING A SEX SCENE, WELL, THEN BOOM: SUDDENLY, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOUR AROUSAL FOR ONCE. IT'S SUDDENLY JUST ABOUT THE CHARACTERS ON SCREEN AND WHAT THEY'RE EMOTING TO EACH OTHER. SUDDENLY YOU CAN THINK ABOUT THE EFFECT OF ALL THIS LIKE A MUSICAL NUMBER, WHERE THE SONG IS AN EXPRESSION OF THE CHARACTERS. THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NOT SEXUALLY INTO IT IS FUCKING PRECISELY WHAT MAKES IT NOT PORNOGRAPHY TO YOU. IT'S WHAT MAKES IT A GREAT FILM THAT JUST SO HAPPENS TO HAVE A LOT OF HARDCORE GAY SEX IN IT.
AND FOR GAY MEN THE DYNAMIC ACTUALLY GOES A DIFFERENT WAY. BECAUSE WHAT IF AROUSAL IS PART OF THE EXPERIENCE WATCHING THIS FILM? IS IT PORNOGRAPHY THEN? WELL, THIS WHERE WE GO BACK TO ONE OF HULK'S FAVORITE IDEAS ABOUT HOW THINGS OFTEN JUST AREN'T ABOUT THE LOGIC OF THE THINGS THEMSELVES, BUT THE POWER DYNAMIC THAT EXISTS BEHIND THEM. BECAUSE THIS FILM BECAME SUCH AN IMPORTANT ONE IN THE GAY CIRCLES AND THE UNDERGROUND MOVEMENT. FOR IMAGINE IF YOU FINALLY HAD A MOVIE THAT WAS A FULL HUMAN EXPRESSION OF YOUR PARTICULAR SEXUALITY? IMAGINE IF YOU FINALLY HAD A MOVIE THAT PUT YOUR ATTRACTIONS AND UNDERSTANDINGS OF LIFE OUT TO THE FOREFRONT, AFTER LIVING IN A WORLD WHERE CINEMA IS DEFINED BY SOMETHING ELSE? AND DID SO NOT JUST AS A PURE EXPRESSION OF IT, BUT A CELEBRATION IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY? IMAGINE IT WAS ONE THAT NORMALIZED YOUR LIFE? AND THAT IT WAS STILL WRIT WITH ALL THE HONEST SHORTCOMINGS, FOIBLES, INTRICACIES AND STRAIGHT-UP UNFAIRNESS ABOUT LIVING IN A WORLD WHERE YOU HAVE THE SEXUAL ORIENTATION THAT IS A MINORITY? IMAGINE IF IT EVEN HAD THE COURAGE TO SHOW ALL THIS WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR? THEN IT WOULD FEEL REVELATORY. AND IT WAS. THERE IS A REASON THIS FILM WENT ON TO CHANGE LIVES. LOOK AT FORUMS FOR PEOPLE'S STORIES OF FIRST SEEING THIS FILM. IT MEANS SOMETHING. SO WHEN YOU PUT IT IN THIS CONTEXT, YOU REALIZE THAT TALKING ABOUT THIS MOVIE MERELY IN TERMS OF THE "PORNOGRAPHIC IMPULSE" REALLY JUST HIGHLIGHTS HOW LIMITING THAT CONVERSATION CAN BE.
BECAUSE EITHER WAY, IT'S NOT REALLY ABOUT THE SEX. IT'S JUST ABOUT THE PEOPLE.
AND IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A LOT OF GAY SEX ON SCREEN THEN, SURE, HULK WILL AT LEAST WARN YOU THAT THE FILM WILL EVENTUALLY THROW YOU IN THE DEEP END, BUT THAT'S THE POINT. TO FIND THE PEOPLE UNDERNEATH THE IMAGERY NO MATTER HOW MUCH THE IMAGERY ISN'T YOUR PORNOGRAPHY. AND THROUGH YOUR LACK OF AROUSAL YOU WILL SUDDENLY FIND THE HUMANITY BENEATH IT. THE SEX WILL BE SILLY AND INSANE AND TENDER AND WEIRD AND IT IS PRECISELY THIS WHICH WILL HUMANIZE IT. WHICH WILL ALLOW YOU LOVE FRANK RIPPLOH FOR EVERYTHING IN HIS LIFE.
AND FOR THE PEOPLE WHO THIS COULD BE "THEIR" PORNOGRAPHY, IT JUST HIGHLIGHTS HOW MUCH THAT WOULD BE AN INSANE WAY TO LOOK AT IT BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE POINT. AND THIS FILM IS AS ACCURATE A DEPICTION OF THE HUMAN CONDITION AS HULK HAS EVER SEEN. SURE, IT'S A FILM ABOUT SEX, BUT IT'S A FILM ABOUT EVERYTHING.
AND IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT, HULK SUGGESTS THAT YOU DO. TRACK IT DOWN SOMEWAY IN THIS MODERN AGE AND HULK EVEN SUGGESTS FINDING A GROUP TO WATCH IT WITH. EVEN TRY TO GET A GROUP OF BOTH MEN AND WOMEN TO SHARE IT WITH. YOUR REACTIONS WILL LIKELY RUN THE GAMUT, BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHY GROUPS ARE GREAT: YOU CAN HELP EACH OTHER CONTROL THE EXPERIENCE. AND HULK SWEARS THAT IT WILL BE AN EXPERIENCE WORTH HAVING.
BECAUSE AS MUCH AS HULK LIKES TO TOUT IT AS THE FIRST PORN THAT SOMEHOW TOLD A REAL STORY, IT REALLY ISN'T ONE.
IT'S ONE OF HULK'S FAVORITE MOVIES.
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